North American Pageant

About 2 weeks ago I was discussed extensively on the voyboards. The dialogue nearly broke my heart however I am stronger because of the experience that initiated the discussion.

In 2004, I attempted to start my own pageant system...North American Pageants. I created the system with the intention of producing a top quality event however being a mere 23 years old I did not truly understand all that was involved in directing. Sadly, things began well enough...I advertised, recruited contestants and had prizes sponsored however I was unable to produce a quality event. When I realized that I was not going to hold the type of event I had intended I should have cancelled the pageant however not wanting to disappoint the contestants I thought I could forge ahead and still have a pageant. Wrong decision! Upon the arrival of the contestants to the event venue I attempted to cancel the pageant with a full refund to every contestant however the contestants wanted to make due with the event since they were already there. Being a "people pleaser" I did not follow my own instinct and tried to continue on with the pageant. Another wrong decision. A pageant was held however it was not at the expected caliber and everyone involved was disappointed.

To this day, I regret that I disappointed the delegates that believed in me and trusted me enough to entered my competition. Without intending to I shattered the dream of the delegates that wanted to be Miss Teen North American, Miss North American and Mrs. North American...saying I am sorry, attempting to refund money spent by the delegates for the competition and being remorseful can never erase my actions regardless of how hard I would like it to. I am truly sorry for my actions and ask God to forgive me for my poor handling of the North American Pageant system almost daily.

My failed attempt at directing has given me a greater appreciation of the hard work that directors put in to give us pageant ladies a platform to showcase our accomplishments. THANK YOU directors for a job well done! It is often times a thankless job that many don't know what is entailed however having failed at directing I know first hand what it takes to be a successful director and applaud each of you.